Saturday, September 29, 2012
The Wish
Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and
said "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions aren't ready yet. Until they
are, I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be."
"Great!" said the first guy, "I want to be an
eagle soaring above beautiful scenery!"
"No problem," replied St. Peter, and POOF! The guy
was gone. "And what do you want to be," St. Peter asked the other
guy.
"I'd like to be one cool stud!" was the reply.
"Easy," replied St. Peter, and the other guy was
gone.
After a few months, their mansions were finished, and St.
Peter sent an angel to fetch them back. "You'll find them easily," he
says, "One of them is soaring above the Grand Canyon, and the other one is
on a snow tire somewhere in Detroit!"
Friday, September 28, 2012
Interview in Heaven
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound
up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get
into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was
the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie
about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the
Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven
didn't *really* need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided
to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the
ship?"
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie.
"1,228," he answered.
"That's right! You may enter."
St. Peter turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
Wife Names
St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if
they qualify for admittance to heaven.
"Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?" he
asks one of the men, who had been a butler.
"I was a good father," he answers.
"Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you
were so bad you even married a woman named Sherry. No admittance."
St. Peter then turned to the next man, a carpenter, and
asked him the same question.
The carpenter replied that he had worked hard and taken good
care of his family.
But St. Peter also rejected him, pointing out that he had
been an impossible glutton, so much so that he married a woman named BonBon.
At this point the third man, who had been a lawyer, stood up
and said, "Come on, Penny, let’s get out of here."
God's Reason
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks
GOD if he can ask him a few questions.
"Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead".
"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women
so pretty?"
GOD says, "So you would like them."
"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made
them so beautiful?"
"So you would LOVE them", GOD replies.
The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did
you make them such airheads?"
GOD says, "So they would love you!
Saturday, September 22, 2012
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